Dear Kaley, 

The all-awaited Big Day is finally here. You are more than ready, so stop being so nervous, biting at your acrylic nails and pulling on your hair extensions as you nervously twist them around your fingers. The ceremony will be beautiful, and the reception will be a blast – albeit more so for your guests than for you, to be honest. Don’t be surprised when you eat just a few bites of your dinner and only have half a drink; you’ll be way too busy attempting to talk to everyone, which you may as well give up on. As hard as you try, you’ll never get around to every single person, so give yourself a break, grab a drink, and head out to the dance floor. It is your party, after all.

After the honeymoon (where you will no doubt spend way too much money on fruity drinks and fancy dinners, so please brace yourself when you get your bill on the way out because you are THAT way), you will get home and that’s when being ‘married’ will really settle in. It will be a huge adjustment, living with a man. Your husband. At first, however, it will be a total fantasy land. Your daydreams of sleeping in, drinking coffee in your pajamas, and cuddling in bed will finally come true. You’ll make him dinner every night using your fancy new kitchen paraphernalia, and frankly, won’t have a clue as to what you’re doing. Luckily, over time, the many hours you spend watching the Food Network will eventually pay off and you’ll finally figure out the difference between a clove of garlic and a bulb of garlic.

You will slowly start to get into a rhythm, Rob and you, learning how to live together. Figuring out who does what around the house and what role each of you will assume. And Kaley, let me tell you something; you may think you know someone pretty well, but honestly, you don’t know JACK until you live with them. What I mean is, you’ll encounter some personality quirks about your new hub that you never knew about before. And don’t be diluted- Rob will figure out all of your quirks, too. 

For you, you will be eternally irritated when Rob leaves dirty dishes in the sink. Even worse, he’ll leave food in the sink (think cereal and/or granola chunks), which will dry up and harden like the bird poop on your windshield. And in a lot of cases, you will be one attempting to scrape it all off. Chalk it up to it just being a part of marriage. Learn to deal with it and move on. And definitely don’t forget that you’re not perfect, either. Rob will learn all about your flaws, and FAST. You know all that hair you have on your head? It will end up covering the bathroom floor within no time, freaking Rob out and giving him cause to wonder if you are going bald at 23 years old. And when you’re in the living room watching the aforementioned Food Network, you will probably make him feel bad when you diss him because you don’t want to miss Rachael chopping up an onion. RUDE.

Probably one of the biggest changes that you two will encounter after being married is sex. A whole new world, really. And you’ll like it, it’ll be great fun.

(Random groomsmen standing near: “Rob, quit grabbin’ her boobs! Get a room!”)

It’s ok, Kaley. He can grab your boobs, you’re married now. And while everybody knows that sex is so great (and it will be), it will also be the most controversial issue in your marriage. Basically because the two of you will find that you’re an anal, OCD, verging-on-the-edge-of-touch-o-phobe-type weirdo. But don’t worry, you’ll learn to work that out together, and even have some fun doing it. Wink wink.

The year will pass at incredible speed, and before you know it you will be celebrating your first year of (mostly) wedded bliss. You will still be madly in love with each other, and falling even more in love with one another each proceeding day. He will be your Honeybear and you will be his Baby Girl. Forever. You’ll sing stupid songs to him to make him laugh, and he’ll pinch your butt when you’re trying to unload the dishwasher. Probably forever, also. 

So today, on your wedding day, have fun! Enjoy the day, and take it all in. Just remember that although it is so easy to get swept up in THE DAY, there is way more to a marriage than than your white dress and towering cake. 

You found a good one, Kaley. He will take care of you and nurture you, even though you’re a butthead and sometimes don’t deserve it. But most importantly, he will love you. And you will love him. 

Keep on loving each other. 

Love,

Kaley